musings…over *cool* random ish

in-flight wi-fi: what am i paying for?

Posted in Perks, Random?, travel by msdisdain on October 12, 2009

current altitude: 34,395 FT
current speed: 418MPH
current outdoor temperature: -55F
distance to go: 2,622 miles
current mood: wired from that airport latte; transcontinental with wi-fi!

all the mind-blowing, world-changing and revolutionizing things i have done with said wi-fi:
1. bask in glory that i has interwebs at 34,000 ft
2. chat with people, basking in glory that i has interwebs at 34,000 ft.
3. surf news networks only to hear nothing but more bad news
4. update fb and twitter about a) how my toes are cold b) how airplane bathrooms are gross and c) see 1
5. upload mobile photos of this assbackwards airbus:

6. wonder if i can sneak my computer into the bathroom where the only power terminal is to recharge.
7. gross out at the idea of sneaking into the bathroom where the only power terminal is to recharge.
Virgin America:

PROS:
1. in-flight wi-fi at a decent price.
2. club lighting with friendly club bouncers (i mean, flight attendants)
3. replaced lighbulbs – pinks and purples flooding the plane
4. the lead flight attendant introduced the other as “hot mama-rina”
5. you order everything online and it’s instantly delivered to you (hot tea, coffee, food etc)
CONS:
1. replaced lightbulbs – pinks and purples flooding the plane. “it’s too girly” -gay couple sitting next to me
2.  everything on Virgin is an advertisement for something else.
3. because this appears to be a club, men show no shame in hollering at the flight attendants (aka “mama-rina”)
4. once the lights go out it looks like an ordinary plane
5. you can’t just ask the flight attendant for a cup of tea. she’ll tell you to order it. even though you just did.
5a. you still have to ask the flight attendant for non-sugar sweetener. and then she tells you there’s a button on the computer to order non-sugar sweetener. only there isn’t.

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The DC Metro Club

Posted in Perks by msdisdain on July 25, 2008

Considering how cut-throat and retarded much of the vehicular traffic is in the DC metropolitan area as are the pedestrians that seem to enjoy darting out in front of your car on a major thoroughfare, it’s about time I joined the city’s elite and rode its metro system instead and rode it in style: with the metro smarttrip card.  We’ll get into the specifics but first, the social lore behind this pass to the city.  Have you ever watched the fluid traffic on the left hand side of the exit gates at any metro system?  In this one, business commuters in suits and ties accompanied by a soft beeping jingle every few seconds mark the move of this school of fish.  Anyone with a regular fare card has to put it in the slot and wait for it to spit back out. This two second glitch in the system causes abrupt traffic, and the suit-and-tie line comes, for a second, to a screeching halt.  Members of this school resemble salmon swimming upstream almost hopping over eachother trying to beep through the gates – the same fish that walk up the long escalators on the lefthand side and cough and scoff if anyone is standing in the way.  These are the rules of the school.  And when you have one of these smart trip cards, why, it’s almost like belonging to a special club.    For $5 you can save yourself ten cents a ride on a renewable card that, if lost or stolen, can still be replaced if registered.  Added bonus?  You can make the gate beep and get your elitist rush on like everybody else.

in order to be cool on public metro transport, you need one of these.

in order to be cool on public metro transport, you need one of these.

P.S.  I’ve got to go downstairs and buy a copy of The Washingtonian and update this, but thanks to DC’s Green Initiative, there is a restaurant of notable quality which gives 15% off dinner tabs running $40 and up…When you show you’re SmartTrip.  More gate beeping privileges thanks to the DC Metro System.